General Characteristics of Women - Essence of Female

Adapted from the Ner LeElef book: Women's Issues
Chapter A: Overview of Characteristics

There are many characteristics, which are described, as specifically female. It is important to bear in mind, which these are and to see how they are all integrated to create a wholistic concept of the female force. We refer to the female force or the female side rather than the women or the female because the female force expresses itself also in men and also in ‘non-human’ or meta-human situations, like the female side of HaSh-m Himself.

List of Female-Sided Characteristics:

Judaism gives us a comprehensive picture of the female mystique, a picture that, in the last 20 years, has been confirmed by all the scientific studies in this area. (Until 1982, it was politically incorrect to distinguish between a man and a woman. However, after the publication of Harvard Professor Carol Galligan's study in that year, the cat was let out of the bag and all the studies from then on showed just how different male and female were. Incredibly, Chazal had clearly talked about these differences over 2000 years ago.)

We are told of a wide range of feminine qualities all of which have to be understood together to provide us with a complete picture of what a woman is. (Failure to look at all a woman's qualities together can lead to serious misunderstandings. For example, the Maharal sometimes describes women as being superior to men, sometimes being equal and sometimes being inferior. Clearly, the Maharal is referring to different aspects of a woman. One would have to know all that the Maharal has to say about women in order to emerge with a coherent picture of his understanding on this issue.)

As a starting point, let us look at the first two generations of Avos and Imahos. Sarah and Avraham have a mochlokes concerning whether Yishmael should be a part of the Jewish nation, or whether he should be sent out of the Jewish nation to form a new nation. This dispute which seems to be repeated in the next generation concerning Eisav. Yitzchak seemed to feel that Eisav should be a part of Klal Yisroel. Rifka felt that he should be excluded. In both cases it was the woman who won out. This tells us that it is a female power to set the boundaries of something, to define the environment, to provide the basic framework in which we operate. Without this, the male force would simply dissipate.(The Male, Right Side, is the beginning of G-d's creative force. The Female, Left Side, takes that force and translates it into a form whereby the recipient could receive it.) This applies to the home, it applies to a baby in the womb and it applies to the very definition of the Jewish people. This is also why a women defines whether the baby is going to be Jewish or not.

Another way of looking at this is to see the female force is final expression of something in this world, that which provides the framework within which something can be nurtured to express itself. This is the Midah of Malchus. It is also the hey in the name of HaSh-m K-ah.

Because the female receives from the male, they are in a relationship of mashpia to mushpa. However, it is clear from the above, that the female is not just a passive recipient. The female completes the process of hishtalshalus (lit. devolving down) whereby there can be a final expression of reality down here. The male is pure potential; the female is actualization, providing the framework in which the initial male spark can be more than a quickly lost flash of energy.

The women is the heart, while the male is the brain. The passion to be committed to something, is therefore a female concept. This helps women have greater faithfulness than men, something that has been historically clearly evident. This contributes to a greater, natural sense of inner contentment and peace.

This is not to say that women are passive. On the contrary, she actively engages reality to find its essence, define it, nurture it, set boundaries and develop situations.

This also helps her to have superior empathy, becoming more personally identified with the other person with greater connecting, conversational abilities. In general, women are better at relationships than are men. This is an extension of their ability to making connections and having greater intuition which facilitates a deeper understanding of and therefore connection with others) and of their being an ezer knegdo (the desire to help and be of service to others). Other aspects of this side of her include a greater ability to be receptive and therefore responsive involving greater compassion and a desire to resolve conflict by consensus (and to prefer consensual rather than hierarchical structures.)

She is less competitive and aggressive, less externally achievement oriented. (This also draws from her tznius.) A combination of her tznius and bina yeseira allows her not only to be more insightful, and connecting, consensual and empathetic, but, as a result more wholistic and communal. Whereas men tend to break things down into details in order to understand the principles behind them, women tend to engage micro realities, combining them and building them up into wholes. This requires the ability to simultaneously engage many different, seemingly unrelated fragments of reality, a function of her kal daas. (Nashim daason kalos.)

The female koach, includes the ability to recognize and reveal hidden kedusha. This draws from her midah of tzinus, which is the ability to focus on the essence rather than the superficiality of any person or situation. (It is the ability to project her spiritual essence rather than her more superficial, physical aspects.) This means that she is more easily in touch with spirituality when surrounded by mundane, physical realities. She sees through superficiality, focusing on the essence. Her midah of tznius allows her to be more inner defined and her midah of female wisdom allows her to understand how to apply this in practical ways. As it says in Mishlei: “A woman's wisdom builds her home.”

Many of these attributes are discussed in later chapters of the book. To order the book please see the Contact Us webpage.